फनी जोक्स: पत्नी (गुस्से में पति से )– मैं हमेशा के लिए घर छोड़ कर जा रही हूं.. पति – अच्छा तो ठीक है मैं भी निर्मल बाबा के पास जाता हूँ…!

आज के इस पोस्ट में

हम आपके लिए कुछ ऐसे मजेदार चुटकुले लेकर आये हैं जो आजकल सोशल मीडिया पर धमाल मचा रहे हैं और हमें यकीन है कि इन्हें पढ़ने के बाद आप भी हंसे बिना रह नहीं पाएंगे. तो देर किस बात की है? चलिए शुरू करते हैं हंसने-हंसाने का ये सिलसिला.

बीवी – सुनो जी, जब हमारी नयी नयी शादी हुई थी,
तो जब मैं खाना बना कर लाती थी तो तुम खुद कम खाते थे,
मुझे ज्यादा खिलाते थे।
पति – तो ?
बीवी – तो अब ऐसा क्यों नहीं करते ?
पति – क्यूंकि अब तुम अच्छा खाना बनाना सीख गयी हो….

पत्नी एक हफ्ते से
कुत्ता खरीदने का जिद
कर रही थी..
पति तंग आकर – समझ में नहीं आ रहा है
कि तुम कुत्ता ही क्यों खरीदना चाहती हो…?
पत्नी – क्योंकि जब तुम ऑफिस चले जाओगे,
तो मेरे आगे-पीछे दुम हिलाने वाला कोई तो हो..

सेठ (नौकर से)- जरा देखना तो कितना टाइम हो रहा है?
नौकर- मुझे टाइम देखना नहीं आता
सेठ- अच्छा कोई बात नहीं,
यह देखकर बताओ कि बड़ी सूई कहां है
और छोटी सूई कहां है?
नौकर- दोनों सूइयां घड़ी में हैं..

पत्नि पति से : कल आप मुझे नींद मे गालियां दे रहे थे ।
पति : क्या कहा ।
पत्नि : कल मैने अच्छी तरह से सुना, आप नींद मे मुझे गालियां दे रहे थे ।
पति : नहीं आपकी गलतफहमी है ।
पत्नि : क्या गलतफहमी ?
पति : के मै सोया था !
रीतो – सुना है की स्वर्ग मे पती और पत्नी को साथ-साथ नही रहने देते.. ऐसा क्यों ?
संता – अरे पगली इसी लिए तो उसे स्वर्ग कहते है…

पति- तुम मेरे साथ नौकरों जैसा बर्ताव करना छोड़ दो वरना?
पत्नी- वरना क्या?
पति- मैं दो चार घर और पकड़ लूंगा….
वैसे भी पड़ोसन मेरे काम करने के तरीके से काफी इम्प्रेस है
पत्नी- आज के बाद सब काम तुम घर के अंदर ही करना

पति ने पत्नी को मैसेज किया..
आखिरी पैग चल रहा है…
आधे घंटे में घर पहुंचता हूं..
अगर नहीं पहुंचा, तो
इसी मैसेज को दोबारा पढ़ लेना..

पप्पू (मां से)- आज सुबह जब मैं पापा के साथ बस मे आ
रहा था तो उन्होंने एक आंटी के लिए मुझे सीट छोड़ने को कहा.
मां- पर बेटा यह तो अच्छी बात है. बड़ों का सम्मान करना चाहिए.
पप्पू- मगर मां मैं तो पहले से ही पापा की गोद में बैठा था.

संता (बंता से)- तू शीशे के सामने बैठकर क्यों पढ़ता है?
बंता- इसके तीन फायदे हैं-
1.खुद पर नजर रहती है
2.साथ में रिविजन भी हो जाता है
3.पढ़ने के लिए कंपनी भी मिल जाती है

संता सिंह ने होटल में
एक स्कीम देखी और डिनर करने पहुंचा.
वेटर- सर आपका बिल!
संता- लो कार्ड रख लो
वेटर- लेकिन सर, यह तो आपकी शादी का कार्ड है!
संता- लेकिन बाहर तो लिखा है ‘ऑल कार्ड्स अक्सेप्टेड’
वेटर बेहोश…

ससुर अपने दामाद को चप्पल से पीट रहा था.
पड़ोसी- क्यों मार रहे हो अपने दामाद को?
ससुर- मैंने इसको हॉस्पिटल से व्हाट्सएप किया
कि तुम बाप बन गये हो…कमीने ने उसे भी 100 लोगों
को फॉरवर्ड कर दिया

एक अंकल ने एक बच्चे से पूछा- पढ़ाई कैसी चल रही है?
बच्चे ने जवाब दिया- अंकल, समंदर जितना सिलेबस है,
नदी जितना पढ़ पाते हैं, बाल्टी भर याद होता है,
गिलास भर लिख पाते हैं, चुल्लू भर नंबर आते हैं,
उसी में डूब कर मर जाते हैं…!!!

एक महाकंजूस पति अपनी पत्नी के साथ कहीं घूमने गया।
पत्नी – सुनो जी, मुझे प्यास लगी है। पानी की एक बोतल ले लीजिए।
पति – दही कचौरी खाएगी क्या?
पत्नी – एजी, ऐसे मत बोलिए, मेरे तो मुंह में पानी आ गया।
पति – बस, तो उसी को पी ले। बोतल में क्या डूब के मरना है…!!!

5,565 thoughts on “फनी जोक्स: पत्नी (गुस्से में पति से )– मैं हमेशा के लिए घर छोड़ कर जा रही हूं.. पति – अच्छा तो ठीक है मैं भी निर्मल बाबा के पास जाता हूँ…!”

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